Today In History

Today 16 years ago, I was born at somewhere around three in the morning and entered life as I know it. It was a momentous but not particularly important event, a speed bump in the regular function of time itself. Nothing special, really. Of course, I don't remember much. today while I was eating some waffles that mom had (as always) put a candle in, dad told me the thing about how I was born that early in the day. Three in the morning? Something tells me this is the reason why I like the darkness between night and dawn so much. It's a beautiful thing, really- a time that posesses so much resonance that it makes me feel closer to God, closer to myself even, as hard as that is to believe. But all in all, are we not sometimes distant from ourselves more than anyone else?

I feel that there is a direct or indirect connection between all things under God and by his whim. It is no circumstance of chance but one of change. All things change, as do lives. As I write this now, I am sixteen. Sixteen. More than a decade and a half I have been on this earth, and yet I've learned so much and so little. There are always things to be learnt. Things to be sought, made and beloved like no other. And yet there is still so little time. It's nearing summer's end. School begins this next week. Am I afraid? I constantly ask myself this, as if I honestly expect an answer. Are you kidding me? I sometimes answer back though, if I'm in the right mood and craziness to talk with myself. Of course I'm not afraid of going back to school. It is an unrational evil to fear things not worth fearing. I instead embrace it- this year looks promising. Junior year.

As I've found, high school can be a battle and a victory celebration at times. And sometimes, both. It is a battle worth fighting I think. Insofar, it is a perilous one though. We all have our enemies and our friends. Sometimes our false friends. We have our revelations and our truths, our belongings and falling outs, our isolation and loneliness but eventual rise to enlightenment on so many levels. It's beautiful really, in a twisted and sometimes sickening way. Just this yesterday, my good friend Melissa threw a birthday party for me at her house. A party! I haven't had an honest celebration for my birthday since I don't know when. A sad state of affairs. Melissa must have a kind heart and a generous soul, more than most people I've witnessed at least. My best friend I'd guess you'd call him, Holt Wheeler, came. Jared Scheler, a nice and unassuming person, came along with Chris Rinker, a hot-tempered and irratable but eventually good-natured sophomore, and Holt's girlfriend (also Melissa's best friend) Maggie Podzemny came just for the fun of it. I wished Jon Cummings would've made it- he had to work at McDonalds until 7. Glad he's doing something with his time though, still.

It was great nonetheless. My friends and I always play the video game Halo. It's an interesting occupation we have, simulated deathsports. It's rather barbaric when you get down to it, but it's just its own flavor of dark humor I suppose. We always manage to have a good time, anyway. Melissa and Maggie made me a cake for the occasion, a chocolate-icing yet vanilla dish that tasted as amazing as it looked. It seems they're more talented chefs than they seem to project. It was an experience I can only think back on and wonder- that is a birthday gift that I really treasure, the companionship of people close to me that I care about. As a group of friends, we have not seen much of eachother this whole summer. Other than the occasional outing to Holt's house, I haven't seen a bit of either Chris or Melissa. Chris, however irrational and trying he can be, was alright. Holt hates him and I can tell. Sometimes I don't blame him- they were in the same ROTC class at one point. Still, Chris is like everyone else. He needs a chance.

As for today, it is just another day on the job. I work at the Chamber of Commerce. An official title for an unofficial business, it seems. I deal with tourists and wayfarers through the area, an unenviable task but still a duty I think fulfills my certain obligations to my city and on some levels, state. I have grown extensively in knowledge over the past three months of working here, learning all about the area and its high points and events to be noted. It is a burdensome task that should end sometime in the next week as school approaches. When I speak of my job to other people, they seem not to take me that seriously. Other people work at Mr. D's bagging groceries or they shovel potato carcasses around at McDonalds, but I instead work at the Chamber. Makes it sound more important that it is. People probably think I'm not cut out for the job. That's probably true. A good old teacher of mine, Ms. Batenhorst, set me up with this job and I intend to fulfill it as far as I need to. Hopefully, I can succeed at that.

I feel I've written enough for right now. Not much else to say, is there? With any luck, there will be in the coming days.