Looking back on Saturday, I wrote waaay too much. It must've been random inspiration or something. People don't read blogs to see a whole novel, I know. Still, somebody has to write it.
Today's Monday the 25th- my second to last day working at the Chamber. It feels kind of liberating... if only it weren't for the start of school in two days. Two days. It's unbelievable how it got to this point. I am literally staring Junior year in the face. And it looks sort of ugly. Not all will be bad, I know. It'll be good to see friends again and some of the teachers I like. Plus, I'll be able to take a few more classes I haven't before. I'm being forced into taking Spanish to qualify for the Hathaway, an all-Wyoming scholarship deal. Yeah, we spend all our lives trying to get out of Wyoming, on to bigger and better things, and yet our best bet for college is in- you guessed it- Wyoming. Great.
So, there's something good I've accomplished in the last couple of days: I finally took some time and released a spiritual guidance newsletter I've had on hold for a long time running here. Glad I did, too. It makes me feel a bit better about some things when I offer help... or at least try to. I really imagine myself as someone who could teach a bit about the faith. Kind of like one of those eccentric people you see preaching the Word on the street corner who really is mentally unsound and drinks way too much coffee... there are worse things.
For future reference, I am not antisocial. I just don't like people as much as I probably should. This last whenever when we went to the lake to celebrate my mom's birthday, my dad called me antisocial. I bet he thought I wouldn't notice. We were talking about going out for dinner (for the second night in a row, I might add) for mom's birthday, and I didn't feel like going. My dad decided to add that little comment about me being antisocial. Great. Thanks, dad, for making me feel a hundred times better about my problems. You see, there is a dividing line between me and most of the normal sociable population- I suffer from chronic shyness. I'm a shut-in, and like to distance myself from the awkward chaos and bitter environment of social situations. I prefer to be alone. With close friends, I can manage. But every single party I've been invited to, I most often turn down because I hate that scene. I hate the being distanced and put aside and having to bear that kind of stress with people I don't know and people I don't care for. Last party I went to with people I didn't really know, Tim Nichols kept insulting me because of my offishness. Go grow a pair already and don't bug people! It makes me infuriated at these people for picking on some of us that aren't like those so high-and-mighty social kings and queens. These people I can do without, but there is a price for living in this age, isn't there?
That being said, I'm all tapped out. I'll think of something next time.
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